palm installments.

i'm freezing, man.
spending my time this year writing every day. not a bad way to pass the time, no, not at all.

right now, i'm trying to acclimate myself with a new keyboard shape. it's always like this. but this that i'm writing on right now is a chromebook, a nice utilitarian one gifted to me by Rahul. and i'm feeling a little tossed around by it. let's be real, not really. i'm not lost. i'm not trying to reconfigure a full language, not trying to rebend my fingers to fit new places.

here's the deal:
i've spent the last month writing everything by hand. i took on a project last month of sending out over 30 microfiction pieces to friends and family. these little short stories put together on a single serving card with a single serving voice. and i went back and read through them over the last couple of days and i think a lot of them came across really great. my next series of thoughts for that project are how to properly display and share them with everyone. it's leaning towards a tumblr account where i post a new one every other day (daily?) and get them out there. it took my quite some time to type them up. surprisingly enough, the transcription process took me a few days. when i'm writing those pieces, it seems that i fall into some kind of trance, pass through some sort of portal and write without looking up. with a fury of blood behind my eyes and a voice harping through my mind and i just put it all down. i kind of remember themes, but not so much the specific lines dropped there. going back was a treat.

but yes, sitting here, i'm trying to get into work #3 for the year. i started simply with a little blog about NES games. then february was spent on the micros. this month the main project is going to be revisiting the NaNoWriMo project that i started in november. easily the worst time to start writing in retail. just back to back to back to door to door to door spent in the store. so it's not that i don't think i can do it, it's just that by the time i get some free time, i don't want to sit down with it. it doesn't get a fair shine. the story that i was working on had a cool vibe and even going back this morning and reading over it, i really liked where it was going. but overall, i think it feels like i might not be able to finish the story with the spread i want to tell. that's the problem, though.

referring back to writing those short stories, those micros, that trance i go into isn't sustainable. but that's where i write my best. that's where the writing flies out of me, completely parenthesized. burning up fuel like a drag race. and coming through this way, i'm not trying to say that i'm trying to drive a le mans... but at least a NASCAR race. at least even a few miles. so i have to take a lot of the skills that come with The Trance and be able to saddle it and ride it and tame it and loose it when i need it. controlling and commanding your talents is harder than strengthening them.

that's what this whole year is about, though. trying to have a month set aside for different things. having each month be spent on specific items, specific works. trying not to feel overwhelmed by all of these different little new and homeless works.

so i'm going to wake them up, let them shake off some of the hay and see where they lead me. see where i can lead them. and see if this works. see what i can show. because at the very least, i want to show people what i started. let someone else finish it. let others know that there's something here. that it's not just some trash talk, like something i say i'm doing when i'm dodging texts or phone calls. these words are happening. they just don't go anywhere.