Friday, July 23, 2010

Monday, July 19, 2010


A boy of around 7 came walking in today, slow and quiet, quick and calm to respond to the greeting. He walked the wall with bare eyes, a young scholarly gaze somewhat exploring the library as was prepared for him. His hands in his pockets, head bent back to the higher shelves that seemed to tower above him, he strafed in observation. Minutes later, the father walks in, calls looking for him and finds him in his pose. "You find anything buddy?" is the question, and three words into the slow response, the father is saying, "alright, alright. calm down, calm down."

Silence again, still the walking of the wall, the slow reading and picture translation. I hear the grown man reciting titles at what seems like dartboard relevance. "So what're you thinking, buddy?" is the question, and again, the response begins to come, case in hand, title at the ready and the father again warns, "okay. calm down now."

Somewhere in there I missed something drastic, some psychological disrhythmia. Who needs the calming? Is the boy shuddering where I can't see, his eyes rolling in the back of his head? Are his knees jerking and gyrating at an angle I couldn't see? Was he urinating on himself, unable to contain the urges he was subduing vocally? Or is the father here so terrified of his son's genuine interest that any gesture of free will sends the fear of rebellion through him?

Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile

Thursday, July 15, 2010

proud partner.

this was a thought that began at the beginning of a car ride home and expanded into a dialogue with myself for some time. something that got so large i was beginning to figure out the different ways to take it in a blog post. then after finding parking, and walking to the apartment, i've sort of lost my way with it.

it's so unbelievable how far we've come with our heroes and our protagonists. look at superman, this unbeatable God of a humanoid. look at hulk hogan, this all-american, prayer spouting, vitamin taking, unending closet owning world champion. now, we look to the flawed and the humble to garner that immense inspiration. the greeks were really on to something by making their deity structure just as crushing as our social lives.

i'm tired, and i've been sleeping more than i ever have.

Sunday, July 04, 2010

the outwoods.

i went to a 2 week sleepaway camp in 1992. we just found some post cards I sent home while away. these are presented in their entirety, verbatim. NO WORDS.

20 JUL 1992
Dear mom and dad, I miss you. Hope you like the tape. I can't wait till you right. My counceler is Dan. I gotta go now so bye! Love, Steve.

24 JUL 1992
Dear parents, [heart]xxoo Eugene sent me a letter and a sticker that said Marines. I got Christine's letter. It is raining right Now. I love righting to you. I have nothing more to say so bye! Love Steve.

24 JUL 1992
Dear mom and dad, did you get my other postcard? I hope so. Today we are going to Arts + Crafts, Drama, Volleyball, Softball and archery. I have to go eat chow so bye.

27 JUL 1992
(front of card has sad face drawn on it with tears rolling down cheeks, and the words DAN DO NOT READ!!)
Dear mom and dad, please come and pick me up. I am lonely. [another sad face with tears rolling down face. this one has hair on it's head, somewhat spiked] love steve. P.S. can't spend another day without you.

28 JUL 1992
xxooxxoo love steve,
Dear mom & dad, aunt olga and erica wrote to me. So did you dad. I love you both. I went boating today. I have to go to dinner now so bye! I also met Chris A. The food is great here. P.S. Don't call me chubba!!! Hee Hee!

29 JUL 1992
Wed. July 29, 1992. I [heart with words love you inside] love you dad!
oooooo. [heart]. [periods actually included]
Dear dad, I miss you sooooo much. I'm sorry for telling you to pick me up early. I was so tired I didn't know what I was doing. I can't wait to see you again. Love steve.

29 JUL 1992
Wed. July 29, 1992
I [heart with the word love inside] you mom!
Dear mom, sorry but I lost my splish splash hat. I feel so bad! Thanks for the nintendo book. I really love it. Don't come and pick me up early. Like I said. Love, steve.

1 AUG 1992
hi! I'm fine. Tusday we went to the boat docks. I went in the padll boats and wen it was time to go in the roboats I hade to go to the bathroom so bad I jumt in the water.