knuckle.

somehow, people get away with things like:
if i had all the days to live, i'd spend them finding you.
but it's something i'd want to say.
but not like that, not at all.
it's like saying,
"so many movies out there -- so many movies out there, DAWG."

along for the ride these days.

Just got up to leave the starbucks i was sitting at and there was a guy editing and writing in the margins of a screenplay with his head in one of his hands. It was at that moment that i wish i was actually able to finish something narrative that i was proud of to drop it off on his table on my way out and say, "hey man, if you have the time..." then walk out.

I wish i wasn't such a hobbyist.

work blog.

It's easy to see why some fail and some succeed. I normally don't try to drag work into the internet, whether it's flickr or twitter or here or any of those other portals, but sometimes the way it applies just makes too much sense.

For example,

Tonight i held a meeting for the store to show what the expectations of the store were from a numbers standpoint, a cleanliness standpoint, and a morale standpoint, and even once that entire spiel (it took about 30 minutes for me to go over everything) was through, people were instantly ready to walk out the door. People were looking at the ground, watching the in-store tv (which i am always hearing complaints about), and i'm sitting here giving information that's crucial to your position in the store as well as, when you break it down, their wallet.

I was told that as a manager, my first year, i would go way too late, take care of everything myself, and accept other's failures by taking them on myself without holding anyone else accountable, and that eventually, i would start going to the complete other side and start cracking down way too hard on people, holding people far too responsible for shortcomings based on nothing but the given day. I don't know if i see that tide starting to turn, but i also know that i am guilty of that first part, and am going to start turning it up a little more.

This is retail and it's hard to take seriously, but at the same time, i take everything that i start to do seriously. Otherwise, what's the point.

This has already gone on long enough.
Just needed to vent.

organs.

SO
much
has happened and it's unjustifying to put it into words.
but the internet is back up in some level of regularity, thanks to the productivity of air waves' ability to carry data.

- just started listening to winds of plague today, and it is probably the best NEW band i've heard all year.
- speaking of best _____ all year, batman: arkham asylum holds that slot for video game of the year. hands down. note: i am NEVER really into those stealth games, so if that's holding you back, at LEAST give it a shot. demo's up on the networks. and i could give a DAMN about the bat, usually.
- been reading, but not posting my underlines. i will.
- writing a book with ernesto. not sure when we're done. i guess we'll know.
- project witness went DOWN.HILL. but it got me to write in a way that's completely different from what i usually put out there, which is a challenge i hoped i'd present, at least to myself.
- bought a sketch book. drew on two pages.
- going to st. louis in october.
- went to vegas last month. left my mark.
- i, uhh, i live in queens now?
- love.