Tuesday, February 24, 2009

plus sign oh no where an exclamation point would be

i see you everywhere. Even when i see you evil, I share things. With you the evil point across blue tacks and red tacks. I told one would be other hands in other hands. She sees it but doesn't speak it loud, some sunrise prior hollers in word form or music form. I trust this. She would never say in, so I'll have to know it. In the eyes she'll speak it in parting glances. Could've had you in less facts.

Could have made you love.

Thinking of all wandering of the mindhands,
thinking of all living in the undercircumstance:
it's you who are where we should be,
it's you who are what we are.

It is so cold.

Things are better but they are not better. Appear better I should say, but I feel the same. Doesn't matter what she says in eyes in action or in voice, matters what I feel in life, in heart, in overgrown. What I'm thinking is waiting out what's happening here. She wants things comfortable with that job here (aqui) with that intermittent long-distance there, with that hot rod travelcase. Me, I want that longtime freedom, that silent four-wall breathroom, that sadmusic sadsong sadliving sadthinking ohbaby I miss you you are what I thought I could be! love affair. Ah but she stopped it without my chance to make it obvious. Ah I lost it without my chance to dip apart.

Zig when I
should have

Population count ticking down in a timescale. Living through big experience, I'm not ready for what it would be for our arrival. Silence among arms and mouthwordkiss. I have nothing to say to you that is not friction, and I don't care if I feel nothing. I'd say wait for me, but I've already said wait for me. I didn't wait. I let that come and go. I'll have to start from bottom up, from grasp and go, from got me don't got me.

I lied to you,
and it was convenient.
I've showed you us in little becomings,
and i never meant it to be what it is now (ahora).

You come and leave and come and leave.
We touch for touching sake.
But I doubt that it's you.

It's always you.
Old age, new age.

And there's a proximity love, a fire i can't ignore to the touch and to the hold; to the hear and to the say. it's from some source I never saw until I saw in her love and element, from some source I never saw until her origin. I'd tell her but it's an unsure thing and I've got no cure for the cowardly. I find her in mindplay, and I plan to make me know her more. Words she loves sounds she loves. And also. More for what she hates.

"Yesss, spanish soap operas are amazing for what I love to do. Find the right crew, ripe for dialogue. Free movie production. If u know nothing u say anything."

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