redgold.

i wish i could get as stoked for things as i used to.

like 2004 stoked.
or maybe 2006 stoked.
very different times.
such very different eyes.
i had a good feeling about a lot of it.
and a lot of it was just as vague.
"a lot of it" as a definite indefinite.

i've hit a point where nothing matters.
not in an empty way, i'd hope.

i think i've always had this vision of having an unbelievable crew of individuals who are this massive inspiration to each other. who write and create on a daily basis and who throw each others' work around back and forth at each other because while they can't wait to have their next piece done, they really, almost moreso, can't wait to read what's next from the guy down the hall. throwing opinions on each others' work back and forth and constantly building. like a massive lennon and mccartney thing, happening always. always.

if i had that, i wouldn't care what kind of money i'd be making or even who loved me.
but fuck it,
these are seeds to the wind,
and off to the rocks or the sea.


you left with him
and even when you didn't,
you said it's definitely someone else.