i have to start to realize, some day, that when people aren't hanging out, that doesn't mean they're not appreciating you. i forget this all the time. not so much FORGET, but overlook. because i know that it's fine.
i never realized that i throw things in people's faces as often as i do until tonight. my spot was blown up right before my eyes. instead of being covered in the aftermath, i sort've watched it explode and trickle down. i get it now.
the past few days, i just haven't felt like myself. especially at home. i find myself not even knowing what i want to do; what i want to hear, or watch, or experience. no clue who i want to hear from, or what i want to say. what questions i want to ask. what words i want to write. i'm usually so focused, and deliberate. it leaves me feeling really lost. i think about the fact that this is how some people lead their entire lives. jesus.
he's just trying to scratch the itch.