Tuesday, January 20, 2015
how do you not write something down in a small, personal notebook once a day? you worry about what other people will think when you write it. even down to the smallest little monologue about veterans or war. you HAD that thought. it happened. and it spiraled off into nowhere. just jot it down. it's frustrating that you don't write it down anymore. audience ruined everything. this is the third stream of consciousness you let change from smoke to smoke in the past month. IT'S THERE.
baby out with the bath water.
talked to a friend on the phone yesterday for almost an hour. felt incredible, like i was alive and throwing real opinions at real listener. and getting tactile feedback. and hearing opinions back. learning and teaching. it felt important on that scale. it felt like the friendships i miss. no small talk. no talking about real stupid life without attaching things overly large or overly small. everything a fairy tale or a joke or a way for us to understand each other. not making the tragedies digestible. not making the stupid things we think anything less than cosmic.
you wonder why.