the eyes, they starve.

it's been a lot of late nights.
and on these nights, i've been spending time on the internet.
it's a modern blessing and a curse.

listen.

i look around, endlessly, for something good to read online. i can't be like rahul and read digg.com. i've tried. it's all a bunch of cool facts and discoveries, and what not... but nothing i can really latch on to. there's maybe one every three days or so that'll keep me interested for a second. for music sites (ap.net, theprp, punknews) are just scanned through so quickly, it's ridiculous. the sites are informative for the most part, but they're aimed at ADD type internet types who will just look quickly for bolded names of bands they're interested in and are able to read a less than 20 word synopsis of the news about the band. not to sound conceited, but i wish there was another site out there just like wrankmusic. opinions and descriptions and personality behind the news. it's so necessary. i've just subscribed tothe scout's podcast. it used to be updated fairly often, but that we before i ever really knew anything about podcasts, etc. the last updated one was on november 30th. i'll listen tomorrow. i also did some research, and subscribed to the one over at The Sounds In My Head. that one was actually updated today. we'll see.

i read no revolution, a blog done by blackout! records' Bill Wilson which actually takes on parts of technology and music together (latest post addressed myspace, pandora, and last.fm just to give you an example) and that's actually something i was interested in. i'd like to check out a lot more blogs. I just recently checked out John Carmack's and it's outdated, and i think Shigeru Miyamoto has one, BUT i can't find it. it may be in japanese anyway.

livejournal has become a dump with absolutely nothing worth reading. i have books (atlas shrugged which i'm 200+ pages through, nothing feels good, god shaped hole, the dead emcee scrolls, and the informers), but those are static. sometimes, i just want something informative. something that someone is emoting about.

what's really to complain about right now, though.
okay, there's one thing. the fact that my now ex-girlfriend (who has now found a seat in my life as best friend on hiatus) is leading a life that i don't envy, that i don't admire, that doesn't challenge anyone not even herself, and that i'm sort've disappointed in. that's one thing. but i'm breathing. i'm living. i'm moving on in ways that i never thought i'd be able to do so quickly.

allow me to rephrase:

what's really to complain about right now, aside from that?
nothing.

next thursday, i check out saul williams up in newburgh either alone or with company. the number one inspiration in my writing and my living, and i get to see him in person again. and i really can't wait. i hope i light up like i did last time. reading parts of his newest, (dead emcee scrolls) has sort've discouraged me from writing anymore. i wonder if i could EVER be at the point this man is. just turning heads with words you write down in your little book with a pen you keep in your pocket. jesus. what i wouldn't give to have someone really dig my writing. to really want me to get out there. it's just not the crowd i'm in right now. it's not the kind've stuff they're into. so i have to sort've gauge it on my own ear, and try to be as objective as possible. not to love or hate on myself to hard.

but there's newburgh next thursday.
richmond the thursday after.
boston in april.

life all in between.